Five Things I Don’t Understand About Prague

As our time here winds down, there are still a few unanswered questions. Here are my top five things I’d like answered sooner rather than later:

1.) Czech dog training: This is the only place I’ve ever been where dogs are constantly unleashed and yet completely obedient. Seriously– they walk, calmly and rationally(or as rationally as any poodle can be), next to their owners. With no leash. If I tried that with my dog, she’d run faster than Ussain Bolt in the opposite direction.Without stopping. Is there special Czech dog training? Specific breeds? And more importantly, where can I get one?

2.) Czech male fashion: Man-pris. Mullets. Tall socks with shorts. It’s a cross between a Billy-Ray Cyrus music video and a retirement home. Of course, there are your tragically hip Czech dudes with their skinny-leg suits, but for every one of them there is some guy on the tram with a mohawk-mullet (yes, I said “mohawk mullet”) and jorts. I think the UN should get involved.

3.) PDAs: I’ve seen more make-out sessions than one would during the season premiere of The Real World. This would make more sense if it were at a bar, but this is during early morning rush hour. I have theories as to the reasoning for this phenomenon, but generally I try to pretend it’s not happening.

4.) Czech bar music: Think of a cross between 2003 MTV and Europop. Then add more Shakira, a touch of Lady Gaga, and a dash of dance hall. We watched Vh1 Europe during lunch yesterday and were disturbed but oddly transfixed. One final note: very little rap. Thankfully, your friends Jane, Casey and CJ have been remedying the situation by referencing Jay-Z, T.I., and Lupe Fiasco every fourteen seconds.

5.) The Niceness: Look, I’m not good with tourists. In Ann Arbor, I’m either ignoring them or attempting to intentionally confuse them. Not so in Prague– people seem remarkably willing to help us, despite the language barrier. Who knew Central Europe could be so friendly?